Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
PANTIES FOUND
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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