Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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