Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
