the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
