We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
