Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
