i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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