Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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