I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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