u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
