Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
