would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
3pm strippers are depressing
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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