You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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