I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
