There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
