tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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