I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
