Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
