Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
