First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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