I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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