you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
