So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
