If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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