he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
