College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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