You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
