Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
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