i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
