I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
