the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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