I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
