A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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