The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
