Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
