I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
