man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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