I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
