Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
