I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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