Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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