Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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