So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
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He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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