My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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