You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
