I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
