There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
