soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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