I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
