yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
