He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
