no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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