Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize