For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You're like the curious george of whores
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
