if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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