So drunk, too bad you don't want this
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
