So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sorry about my life...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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