After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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