Someone shit on the floor
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
