Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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