ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
