i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
